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Dad Jokes.Succeeding

mjennings
Community Champion
13 99 2,755

In the spirit of Grab the big shoes and pile into the car‌, I would like to continue your daily dose of laughter. We all know it is the best medicine and far to often we all take ourselves to serious. So this is the place were your next joke can be shared or found. I'll get us started once again.

Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? Because they’re already stuffed.
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Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star.
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Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost!

Now it's your turn. Click that "Add a Comment" button and let's laugh together.

99 Comments
ken_cooper
Community Participant

Yes I found it (bookmark time!).  Thanks  @mjennings , always looking forward to the jokes and got so worried with the first part of the comment you just added to the Grab the big shoes thread about shutting it down.  Now we can keep it going all year!

I'll share this one I just saw today.  #CatEarthTheory:

Cat Earth Theory

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

bneporadny
Community Champion

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tdelillo
Community Champion

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Bobby2
Community Coach
Community Coach

Poor old New Zealand left out of the game. Or the mouse that got away?

Bobby2
Community Coach
Community Coach

Sticking with the Canvascarn theme

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mjennings
Community Champion

Shout out to all the people wondering what the opposite of in is.
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A roman walks into a bar, holds 2 fingers up, and says, “ I’ll have five beers, please.”
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mjennings
Community Champion

What’s another name for the captain of a sail boat? – A sails manager!

mjennings
Community Champion

I used to have a fear of boats, but that ship has sailed.

mjennings
Community Champion

When the captain’s ship ran aground he couldn’t fathom it.

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

ken_cooper
Community Participant

Happy Friday everyone!

Never Argue With Stupid People, They Will Drag You Down To Their Level And Then Beat You With Experience

mjennings
Community Champion

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tdelillo
Community Champion

Image may contain: sky, cloud, tree, outdoor and nature

awarmar
Community Participant

With the coloring, New Zealand almost looks like a small section of string that World Cat had successfully removed from String Ball Austraila! Maybe that's what happened to Madagascar too, lol. 

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

mjennings
Community Champion

I would tell you a joke about my shoe but I think I shoedn't.

mjennings
Community Champion

I would tell a history joke, but they're too old fashioned.

mjennings
Community Champion

I would tell a swimming joke, but I think it's too watered-down to be funny.

mjennings
Community Champion

I wanted to make a joke about criminals, but I was scared it would get stolen.

mjennings
Community Champion

However, I do make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

tdelillo
Community Champion

Sometimes I wish Jive had the HaHa like option, like Facebook does. Because 

Image result for laughing emoji

mjennings
Community Champion

I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there.

mjennings
Community Champion

A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

mjennings
Community Champion

I own the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it’s awful.

mjennings
Community Champion

I used to hate pickles but now I relish them.

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

ken_cooper
Community Participant

Parenting Tip:

You can easily tell when you wake up if your kids chose to try to make pancakes themselves, because...

The stove will look like the mafia just got finished interrogating the Pillsbury Dough Boy

kmeeusen
Community Coach
Community Coach

Thank you,  @mjennings  ! Your Rock!

My new favorite this week...................

mjennings
Community Champion

As long as the imperial system is in place a ruler will be afoot.

mjennings
Community Champion

I told a pun in civics class. It went down in history.

mjennings
Community Champion

My son's spelling test consisted of synonyms of the word incorrect. He was able to write every wrong.

mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

This weekend a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

mjennings
Community Champion

Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

mjennings
Community Champion

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.

mjennings
Community Champion

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes

mjennings
Community Champion

If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

mjennings
Community Champion

Started a bit late, so I'll have to catch up...

On the first day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the second day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the third day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the fourth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the fifth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the sixth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the seventh day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the eighth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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laurakgibbs
Community Champion

I LOVE THESE,  @mjennings ‌! Since they are all the same size, you should turn them into an animated gif cycling through the images every few seconds: all the humor/days in one big image file 🙂