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Dad Jokes.Succeeding

mjennings
Community Champion
13 99 2,756

In the spirit of Grab the big shoes and pile into the car‌, I would like to continue your daily dose of laughter. We all know it is the best medicine and far to often we all take ourselves to serious. So this is the place were your next joke can be shared or found. I'll get us started once again.

Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? Because they’re already stuffed.
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Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star.
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Have you heard about the fire in the shoe factory? Hundreds of soles were lost!

Now it's your turn. Click that "Add a Comment" button and let's laugh together.

99 Comments
mjennings
Community Champion

On the ninth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the tenth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Dad.Jokes gave to me...

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mjennings
Community Champion

And finally, my gift to the community, by request of laurakgibbs‌, here they are in GIF format:

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mjennings
Community Champion

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I think I will slowly get over it.

Bobby2
Community Coach
Community Coach

 @rachael_donalds ‌ this conversation is made for you! 

mjennings
Community Champion

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never got the chants.

mjennings
Community Champion

I really hate it when people ask me what I will be doing in a year. It not like I have 2020 vision. 

mjennings
Community Champion

I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

kmeeusen
Community Coach
Community Coach

mjennings
Community Champion

 @kmeeusen , It might just be me, but I can't see the image you shared. 😞

mjennings
Community Champion

What did the dry erase marker say to the blackboard?

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Nothing! Dry erase markers don't chalk.

mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

A little late for St. Patrick's day but here you go...

What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'furniture.
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When is an Irish potato NOT an Irish potato? When it is a French fry.
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How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He's Dublin over with laughter.
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What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant.
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What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A lot of small talk.
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Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because regular rocks are too heavy!
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Where would you find a leprechaun base ball team? In Little League.

mjennings
Community Champion

Why is there music coming out of your printer? That will be the paper jamming again!

mjennings
Community Champion

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.

mjennings
Community Champion

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

mjennings
Community Champion

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.

kmeeusen
Community Coach
Community Coach

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Bobby2
Community Coach
Community Coach

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken!

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

mjennings
Community Champion

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jacobtowne7
Community Participant

Image result for phteven

mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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Best baby announcement ever!!

mjennings
Community Champion

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kmeeusen
Community Coach
Community Coach

 @mjennings  

Perhaps not a Dad Joke, but it is funny and it is in keeping with the previous posting; and it includes a member of the Community Coaching Team that we all know and love (hint, the patriotic socks)...........

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God, he is so going to kill me for this!

Kelley

mjennings
Community Champion

Tap, tap, tap..... Is this think on?

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

How do dolphins and whales pass down and share knowledge through the generations?
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Via podcasts, naturally.

mjennings
Community Champion

My mom used to insist on feeding me alphabet soup because she said I liked it. I didn't, she was just putting words in my mouth and it gave me horrible vowel movements.

bneporadny
Community Champion

See the source image

mjennings
Community Champion

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mjennings
Community Champion

A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit turns to the others and says, "I think I'm a typo."

mjennings
Community Champion

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Humor is good for the soul. Stay safe my friends. 

Emilyisme
Community Participant

Did you know the first fries were not cooked in France?

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They were cooked in Greece. 😏

Emilyisme
Community Participant

I'd tell you a joke about construction...but I'm still working on it 😁

Emilyisme
Community Participant

 

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Emilyisme
Community Participant

 

Why can't you ever trust an atom?

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Because they make everything up.

Emilyisme
Community Participant

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Emilyisme
Community Participant

If you're being chased by a bear, does that mean your running with a bare behind? 🤣

sorry, bad pun...........