A641.3.3.RB - Emotional Intelligence: Getting Results!
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Self-Awareness
Early in my military career, I realized the importance of understanding my emotions, strengths, and limitations as part of my journey toward self-awareness. I often felt frustrated or stressed back then but didn't know how to identify or process these feelings productively. This stage involved learning to "read" myself—recognizing when emotions like anger or impatience surfaced and understanding how they impacted my actions and my team (George, 2000).
As my self-awareness grew, I became better at stepping back and evaluating my reactions. I began to identify patterns in my responses, which allowed me to adjust my approach proactively. For example, when I noticed frustration arising during high-pressure mission briefings, I shifted my focus to problem-solving instead of dwelling on my emotional responses. Over time, this reflection helped me find a balance between being authentic and meeting the demands of leadership in stressful situations.
Self-Management
Self-management is critical in the military, where high-pressure situations are frequent. As I advanced, I mastered controlling impulsive reactions and keeping my emotions in check when the stakes were high. At times, I led teams in challenging environments where showing fear or frustration could have weakened morale. My ability to stay calm and composed made me a reliable figure that others could look up to.
Self-management also allowed me to become a " force multiplier"—an influence that enhances others' strengths. For instance, my capacity to stay grounded inspired those around me to adopt a similar mindset when dealing with high-stress situations. I aimed to set an example that encouraged team members to manage their own stress, fostering resilience across the group. When conflict arose, my ability to manage my emotions enabled me to step in as a mediator, creating a balanced environment that promoted cohesion (Goleman, 2012).
Social Awareness
I naturally developed social awareness from an early age, but it took time for this trait to evolve into a valuable tool in my leadership role. I could understand others' emotions and empathize with them, but through experience, I learned to harness that awareness strategically. By recognizing the nuances in my team's body language, tone, and behaviors, I could pick up on unspoken concerns or tensions, allowing me to address them before they escalated.
Being Irish in the American military added a unique layer to this dynamic. My background enabled me to navigate social stigmas, giving me a distinctive advantage in connecting with a wide range of personalities. As the "Irish boy who worked hard and played hard," I found it easier to manage social situations that others might find challenging. I could diffuse tension with humor or provide a fresh perspective, helping people feel more at ease around me. This ability to blend empathy with cultural adaptability strengthened my capacity to bond with team members, regardless of their rank or background.
Social Skills
The military environment underscored the importance of social skills, especially as I took on roles where managing relationships and resolving conflicts became central to my responsibilities. My social skills helped me navigate complex team dynamics and facilitate effective communication, even in high-stakes situations. Whether giving orders, mediating a disagreement, or leading a team through challenging missions, I honed a style that balanced authority with approachability.
My identity in the military may have set me apart, but it also gave me a unique platform to build rapport. People saw me as different, but I used that difference as a strength. I could tap into humor or cultural references to lighten tense moments, making me an approachable and trusted leader. As I advanced, these social skills enabled me to lead by example, set the tone for collaboration, and ensure my team felt respected and valued.
Conclusion
Looking back on these different aspects, it's clear how they shaped my leadership style and effectiveness. Early on, becoming self-aware really set me up for emotional growth. As I got better at managing myself, I became a calming presence in my team. My social awareness, especially my knack for reading the room and building connections, helped me create an inclusive and trusting environment. Plus, my social skills made it easier for me to communicate, mediate issues, and inspire others—qualities that have impacted my role as a leader (George, 2000).
This reflection shows how emotional intelligence has played a big part in my career, highlighting my adaptability and cultural awareness. These insights provide a strong foundation, demonstrating how my time in the military gave me a solid grasp of emotional intelligence that has influenced my leadership and personal growth.
References
George, J. M. (2000). Emotions and leadership: The role of emotional intelligence. Human Relations, 53(8), 1027-1055. https://doi.org/10.1177/0018726700538001
Goleman, D. (2012). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam.
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